In the previous essay - Your mind is a poor reflection of the truth - I outlined how, through recognising the fallibility of our own mind and distancing ourself from it, we create the space for growth. Now I want to talk about growth itself - what do I mean when I say ‘growth’ here, why I believe it’s important and what role we play in creating the right conditions to encourage it.

What do I mean by ‘growth’?

Over time I’ve played around with a lot of different wording when it comes to talking about coaching and my business. My most commonly used tagline, which, as of writing this you’ll find front and centre on my website is, ‘I help Founders and Leaders of mission-focused tech companies to unlock growth in themselves, their teams and their products.’ But growth within that tagline actually has multiple meanings - the ‘growth in themselves’ is internal work that can be hard to quantify; whilst the growth in ‘their products’ is external and might be measured in active users, or revenue for example.

So for avoidance of doubt, when I talk about growth here, I mean it in that internal context, as it relates to each of us at our internal deepest depths. Some people might use the word ‘spiritual’, others will balk at that (I used to be one of them). As someone whose spent plenty of time swimming in both the ‘Eastern spirituality’ end of the pool, and the ‘Western science’ end, I’m comfortable with a broad range of language here, but whatever your viewpoint I’d encourage you not to get tied up in the language and instead focus on the core essence of a type of growth that leads to a more connected, creative, resilient and contented lived experience.

Why is it important?

As you can probably tell, I’m a passionate believer that it’s important. In fact, for tech company founders and leaders, I believe it’s the single most important area of investment to maximise your chance of building a successful company. It’s what allows you to be an effective leader today, and to continue to grow in line with the needs of the company. It expands your resilience, your capacity for decision-making, allows you to be more vulnerable, to build more trusting relationships and to foster a culture of growth within your team. It is the healthy soil in which the seeds of success are able to grow.

Perhaps more importantly what grows is a greater sense of self-acceptance, compassion and connectedness. An ability to embrace life now, rather than putting it on hold till you’ve exited. A healthy boundary around your identity that ensures your entire being isn’t tied up in the fate of the company.

This stuff isn’t easy. Far from it. But that’s not the reason it’s so often neglected - Founders are accustomed to tackling things that are important but not easy. The narrative around startups has been written about ‘hustle’ and ‘self sacrifice’. We’ve wholly glamourised the notion of dying for the cause. I see this first-hand all the time; in fact I had a session with a Founder recently who was questioning whether or not he should be self-sacrificing more, to which my response was ‘Your job description is hard enough; why make it harder for yourself?’ He smiled knowingly.

The role of ‘mental gardener’

So what, might you ask, is your role in growth? Some would say that growth is our default state, and that merely by existing we’ll experience it. I think there’s a lot of truth and wisdom in that. But I also believe we each have a role to play as our own sort of ‘mental gardener’ - tending to the soil, planting the right seeds, adapting to the seasons. Without taking responsibility for this ‘mental gardening’ then we’ll simply grow in ways that reflect our patterns of thinking and rhythms of life - some of which might be positive and result in beautiful flowers; but much of which will lead our minds to becoming overrun with weeds and the soil depleted.

Some of us have an easier job description than others here. Whether it’s due to brain chemistry, trauma, life circumstances - we each require different levels of upkeep. But whether you have an easier job or a harder one, the responsibility and role of chief mental gardener is yours whether you like it or not.

The conditions for growth

I find it helpful to think in terms of two distinct categories of responsibility in your role as gardener:

1. Replenishing the soil - in which you create the healthy foundations for growth. These can be seen as the more habitual, behavioural fundamentals. There will be things that are unique to you here; but it also includes some of the universal basics such as regular exercise, sufficient sleep, human connection, time in nature etc.
2. Planting seeds - in which you ****look to purposefully grow in new ways. Again there’s no one-size-fits-all approach here. For some, they’ll plant their seeds in therapy, others in meditation, some through taking psychedelics, some through coaching. The important thing though, and the reason I make the distinction between this and ‘replenishing the soil’ is that I believe planting seeds HAS to involve deep inner work of some form. It’s not simply a matter of taking the edge off your stress by going for a run (as good as that is). It often involves shining lights into what feel like the deepest and darkest corners of ourselves. It can be uncomfortable, confronting, challenging but also transformational.

As varied as my coaching work can be, you could really characterise almost all of it into one of these two categories - helping people replenish the soil, or plant seeds. Together they create the conditions for a mental garden in full bloom. A creative, contented, resilient state that I firmly believe is worth pursuing. It’s helping my clients in pursuit of that state that gives me my purpose in coaching.